I sit here with a raging cold on a steamy-hot Memorial Day reflecting on all my family members and friends who've served in the armed forces and were willing to risk their lives for all of us as American's. It's overwhelming to consider that level of commitment to people they don't even know or some people they may not like. It makes me understand though, that doing something honorable and bigger than yourself is far beyond narcissistic tendencies and our self-importance. Sometimes you do something because it's bigger than you and important. That means sacrificing sometimes for others and that is a beautiful gift that no one can repay.
I say this because yesterday, at an annual tradition that I share with very good friends (MEATFEST), I was reminded about the meaning of true friendship. While it's true that our core group of friends have all become increasingly, crazily busy over the past year - we still share a sense of connection that I don't think would disappear based on petty issues, mistakes or misunderstandings. In fact, a lot of these friends that I spent yesterday with are people who've always been willing to try to understand and work things out. We don't seem to get angry or offended because we don't see each other as often as we may like, and we seem to know that being busy is not because we don't value one another. In fact, there are a few people I spent yesterday with that I would be willing to make sacrifices for and for that, I am grateful.
My close friends (ones that I deem close - even though I struggle with distancing myself at times), are people who are complex, beautiful and complicated at times. None of us are perfect and yet we still care for one another. We also are able to address one another head-on when needed and come to mutual understanding. I am grateful for these people who have given me their friendship and their dedication and I hope they know that even though, sometimes, I don't know how to give back or give them what they need, that I am dedicated to doing so if they would only ask. Most importantly, I thank them for standing by me and never abandoning me even in my darkest hours.
So on this day of remembering others...remember, that everyone you come into contact with in this life is fighting their own battle and working towards their own goals and dreams. Everyone, even those who may initially "rub us the wrong way", are worthy of love and kindness. Just because you think you know someone, often times doesn't mean that you do at all. Sometimes we can't fully understand others, or those who are willing to do and give and sacrifice for others but those are the people who should command more respect. However, they'll rarely ask for it. Whether those people are friends or those who serve in roles dedicated to protecting and serving ALL, we should consider ourselves lucky that they do what they do - even for those of us who may not appear worthy. So thank you. Beyond words, thank you for everything.
Wow...this long weekend has already been a whirlwind of hub-bub at our house. I should mention, that both the Jim and I are artists amongst the things we do 9 to 5 (well, the Jim actually has a 9 to 5 that utilizes his artistic talents - LUCKY DUCK).
Anyway, I was a little dubious about the show last night, as I was reprising a former piece (my silly rendition of AN AMERICAN IN PARIS), but I was planning to finally put myself "out" there as a solo singer for the first time as a real possibility option to add to my performing life. I'm a self-styled jazz singer, an adept alto who's been happy to perform as a singer in company theatre productions over my life in performing. However, as I am starting to work with an amazing cabaret singer and songwriter, Chicago's own: Sarah Motes Ashley. I have a way to go in terms of fully embracing my range and trusting my voice, but last night I was prepared to leave it on the stage (tackling a song higher than my comfort-range, nasally or strained due to my sinus infection...with a back up plan to go full SHATNER if needed). Even with an initial microphone that didn't work, and a clogged ear issue that just worsened through out the night, I got through my first SOLO singing performance in decent form. It was an off night for me, but I got through it! (I've actually sang two additional times as a soloist for an audience, but not as a PERFORMER per se...for wedding and funerals, lots of time spent in the chorus and happily there).
Mostly, I'm glad that I did it...and hope to do it again as I work on becoming a hopeful cabaret singer (one of my secret dreams). So, as I write this - my sinuses are fully stuffed, but I feel more secure because the first time is behind me. I actually hope to audition for my MOST beloved musical of all times coming up in July...I'm hopeful to get a small ancillary role but focusing on improving and learning more in the next few months. I have a lot of work to do, to improve on many different levels but I feel that with hard work, determination and a little inspiration I can really start to feel more vital in my performances. Excited about the journey.
Simultaneously, way across town at the House of Retro-Moderns, the Jim (due to an inability to tolerate smoke), was enlisted by a great group of filmmaker/performers to come up with some potential thematic music for a production that was in HURRIED production as he's helping some people involved with Knoxville's first 24 Hour Film Festival. We have no idea since he's helping with ancillary post-production what the film looks like but we hope it went well. I believe it has to be done and submitted in the next few hours. He was up till 3 AM composing random bits of potential music to accompany "ideas" that were presented. What a challenge...but I fell asleep on the couch to random music coming from the studio. I'm still in awe that he can just come up with stuff on the fly. I have no idea. I'm also excited an blessed to be working with him on an upcoming television project that is sure to be...different, to say the least!
It's nice to be in an artsy household for sure, but goodness the old line from the Sondheim musical of my heart is true, "Art isn't easy".
Today was a whirlwind day for me professionally. I'm working to build something that coordinates my dreams and ambitions with my current activities, likes and passions. I'm building an ability to produce a (now bi-monthly), night of variety entertainment held at a local venue here in Knoxville.
I've wanted to own my own club for years, however I'm very particular about the way I want it to look, feel and be. In some ways, I'd make a perfect Disney Imagineer. I want theming and people to have an EXPERIENCE not just a night out. So I'm building it...slowly and choosing soooo carefully.
You see, my husband, the Jim stands by me on my crazy dreams. He's pragmatic at times and frankly that's what I need. Most importantly he understands now why I want and NEED to pursue these creative dreams and visions. In fact, I'm really excited about moving forward on a dream at least a little bit.
As my performance artist persona, I will be hostessing and producing THE CHEESE SHOP (Speakeasy/Cabaret), here in Knoxville starting at the Old City Entertainment Venue in...where else? The old city! While it's not mine, the two men who head up the venue, Ray and Jason have been 100% supportive of me holding a night of real variety in the upstairs section of their club which is reminiscent of a SPEAKEASY at least in feeling. It's intimate and that's what I really want, an intimate experience for my guests and a chance to have some AMAZING local/regional entertainers connect with potential fans who maybe didn't know they existed. I want a true artist and art-lover relationship to develop. I want to help make connections. I want to promote entertainers who deserve to be promoted.
[On a side note, if you visit the link to the website above, you have to find your way onto the MAIN page by figuring out a few links on the opening page that will get you into the SPEAKEASY. It's fun and I enjoy a good puzzle.]
Now the first question I get, is WHY do you call it THE CHEESE SHOP? Well, back in the era of prohibition a lot of the speakeasies had faux store-fronts or were in the basement or back/allies of other places. Like a dry cleaning establishment where, if you brought red socks in meant you knew it was a front for a speakeasy and you'd get ushered in to the back room to drink and be merry on the down-low. I'm a huge Monty Python fan (as a previous posting notes), and one of the first sketches I ever saw/heard from the talented troupe was their "cheese shop sketch". Which I'll show you...NOW:
While the cheese shop in the sketch was not a front for a speakeasy, it's along the lines of what I'm aiming for. I want you to believe you're coming to a CHEESE SHOP but make people "in the know" by featuring a particular cheese each month as the password. Will there be cheese? Blessedly, OLD CITY Entertainment Venue sells a really fabulous cheese plate - so yes, in a way there will be. It's also called the cheese shop, because...well I'm a pretty cheesy person. Own it and be who you are!
So under THE CHEESE SHOP (Speakeasy/Cabaret) name, every other month - I am featuring a collection of local performers of all different styles and types to introduce Knoxville to! I'm blessed to know so many of them personally and that even makes me more excited...because I really know what they are capable of and I can't wait to see them under the same roof and sharing the same stage.
Now, the reason today was such a whirlwind was because I had to push back the OPENING NIGHT to July 28th, 2011 because of a work commitment that I couldn't control. I was so happy to catch everything in time before the printer made my flyers and I've been blessed that all my performers and staff are able to adjust to the new opening night.
Another reason that I wanted to do this was for Knoxville...I believe in Knoxville's open-ness to explore all varieties of performing and visual arts. Mostly, I wanted to cater to people who want a REAL night out without having to pay big money and get home so late that they couldn't function at work the next day. So I made my night, $10.00 (tickets on sale for $8.00 through June), doors will open at 7 PM and the whole night will be over by 10:30 - 11:00 PM. Time to get home and get to bed. Reasonable for everyone and with a real class-it-up feel. Please spread the word and if you're a FACEBOOKER, please consider "LIKING" us. It helps us know what we're building makes sense and will have a place here in our fair city.
It's a dream come true and it will be a full reality for me SOON.
Wow.
Let me just say, that now that old-doomsday-dude said, he was wrong and that the apocalypse will be coming in October now (yeesh), I'm really hoping his wrong - yet again. Because I AM GOING to see this film in November.
Be patient and stick with this trailer, you'll see my overwhelming joy about half-way through.
GIDDY WITH GLEE
are the Jim and Me!
I cannot believe what I'm about to write right now. I've been a Monty Python fan for over 20 years and I still absolutely adore the gents and beauty that make them a sweet sampling of sketch comedy genius...but I'm now coming to terms with aging as a Python-fan. The existential MP crisis has occurred as a result of going to see the musical production of "SPAMALOT" that just finished it's brief touring stop here in Knoxville. I know the premise builds upon "The Holy Grail" film and mixes the old with new humor...so I was prepared for anything and frankly had fewer expectations that I normally do. Sadly, I left the theater feeling flat; and that, my dear friends was far from what I thought would happen.
I found Monty Python after a late night at age 15. I was watching MTV which used to show primarily music videos (remember that?), and occasionally late in the evenings they would present a British comedy to just shake things up a bit. I had already been introduced to and become a fan of "The Young Ones"...so I was game to see what else the Brits could deliver. When VJ Mark Goodman announced that late night, that "Monty Python's Flying Circus" was coming up next - I immediately went to the literal thoughts. "Oh, is this going to be like 'Circus of the Stars'?" I had no idea. Understandably as the opening portion of John Phillip Sousa's march entitled "The Liberty Bell" played, I was really confused. There were no trapeze artists or recognizable stars. In fact, the show was "old" and as a teenager, at first blush I didn't appreciate that. However, as the show progressed and I waited for someone to tame a lion or walk a tightrope; I found myself laughing and becoming more engrossed in these funny British gentlemen and their seemingly both silly and surreal humor. After the "penguin on the telly" sketch. I was officially hooked. 100%. I was a Python-fan; and I did, what most fans of Python do. I overdosed.
Over the years that followed, I watched every episode of The Flying Circus I could (often multiple times). I would go down to my local Mom and Pop video rental shop and check out every film that the troupe had to offer. I started with "Life of Brian", then "The Holy Grail", "And Now for Something Completely Different" followed by what was to become my favorite Python film of all time, "The Meaning of Life." I had their instant record collection and proudly marched around my parent's home singing "Sit on My Face" because I found it salacious, silly and so much fun. As a non-rebellious (much), girl...Python was intelligent, hilarious and bawdy at times. Perfect!
I could quote and riff a routine like a pro from age 16 through age 26. I read every book, as they experienced a resurgence and I learned everything I could about each individual player within the troupe. I became particularly enchanted with Michael Palin and had a fondness for Eric Idle that had nothing to do with his looks. In some ways, Python did for me what they did for George Harrison of the Beatles. They came along at a time in my life that was depressing and confusing, and they really made me not take life seriously and helped me laugh a lot. I needed them back then, and they really gave me far more than the amount of money I spent on anything they could produce. As much as I lament past relationships, they did serve a purpose in introducing me to good people and I appreciate the connections I made as a fan of MP. They really can bring people together and they still do.
This time, however, they brought us together with a number of Knoxvillians in the grand, Tennessee Theater for a night of Python produced fun (well, mostly Eric Idle produced fun), and I was sadly...disappointed. Perhaps it was because it lacked some of the surrealism or genuine punch of the Flying Circus sketches. It was still intelligent, but more mass-marketable...it was, for me...bland. So many people brought young children, which confused me like it did when I went to see "The Kids in the Hall" at the Tower Theater in Philly. Do these people not realize, this is going to get a little risque or vulgar? I mean, that's part of the Python appeal. Sure enough, they delivered a few cringe worthy moments that parents may have to answer questions about, but for the most part I found all the children fidgety and overly stimulated. On top of that, was the tradition of people reciting the familiar lines over and over and over; which, when you're trying to enjoy a production that is already difficult to hear due to some lack-luster sound - just make it more...eh.
Don't get me wrong, there were a couple of great zingers in the show and they even brought in the element of troublesome local politics here in Knoxville (which got applause from the Jim); but seeing this made me realize that I like PYTHON. The PYTHON. I like John Cleese, Graham Chapman, Terry Jones, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin and the wonderful Carol Cleveland. I like that occasionally they re-tread over familiar territory for us fans. I like more that they tell their story now, and make us feel more involved in their former process. However, Python is best (and I still love them deeply), when they are freshest to us as a viewer. When you're first delving into the world of MP, it's all so wacky and new that you feel just like you did when you started dating that super cute, witty, skinny boy that you met outside of your British Literature class. He's charming and foreign, and you wanna know more. As an older Python fan, you become more like the old married couple...you start to grow weary of the same stories your significant other tells you over and over again and you just hope that occasionally there will be some addition to the mix that will spice it all up again.
While perchance, the original SPAMALOT cast of Tim Curry, David Hyde Pierce and more may have helped add that rush of adrenaline, for the most part I found myself entertained but ready to go home for a nice pot of Piston Engine soup. Perhaps, I'm just getting old and daft like one of the Pepperpot ladies. If so, I need a nap. In the meantime, I will go and watch the originals, younger, bolder and full of spunk as they did their early craft to confuse those as the BBC. I think perhaps in my MTV-conditioned ADD state, I prefer their sketch comedy which was what the original show was all about and was heavily featured in "The Meaning of Life", much like I like Stephen King's short stories. I like bite-sized entertainment, being tickled by a television-based tapas of talking twits. So, in reflecting back, I think I'll crack open an episode of The Flying Circus my friends and return to that original feeling of wild abandon. Who knows...it might inspire you live with more silliness, surreality and, well, "you know what I mean, nudge nudge."
Okay, if you don't already know this...I'm a fan of burlesque and vaudeville entertainment. So, this Friday and Saturday, I ended going up on a fairly impromptu "glitter-filled" road trip with my friends Kisa and Delinda to see a wonderful burlesque personality and emcee, Miss Astrid Von Vooomer shepherd us through an evening of celebrating 8 years of Panty Raid burlesque performances in Nashville, Tennessee. I was introduced to the character of Miss Astrid by Kisa as she's been very much influenced as a performer by this divine woman from NYC. My personal burlesque inspiration is the woman who inspires and awes so many fans and fellow burlesque people, Dirty Martini...but the more I've learned about the performance art of burlesque and neo-burlesque, the more I've learned about Miss Astrid. I knew, before rubber hit the road for this trip that I really wanted to know more, to see more and learn more about this artist who plays to full hilt, the Austrian power woman who's eye-patch and craft of character development. I wanted to see her in action, in her 'element'.
I must say, I was sincerely impressed by Miss Astrid, and her adept ability to get you through a show with razor sharp wit, clever quickness and an amazing ability to play off her crowd and her fellow performers. She's a solid and well developed character on stage, with a presence that commands attention. However, much like my amazing meeting of my hero (Dirty Martini), what impressed me the most about her was her genuinely warm reception of her fans and appreciation for fellow performers on their own personal/professional journeys. She greeted the three of us fans with a warm hand and a sizzlingly flirtatious attitude and put up with our questions and our attempts to appear cool while basking in her glory.
It was my first time seeing a Panty Raid Burlesque performance, and I must say I was impressed by a fair number of the performances. Lots of wonderfully creative performance artists who are really doing a beautiful job of pushing forward neo-burlesque and the empowering elements of skewering societal norms. My only critique was that the production was fairly heavy on the belly dance performances which I feel were a nice addition to an evening of variety framed as a burlesque show; but those belly dancers who did perform were really quite good. It was a nice mix of entertainment and I highly recommend you checking out a group of male performers who call themselves, Bro-lesque. Fantastic!
The main focus of the trip was the show but a great side bonus of hanging out in Nashville was visiting with the sublime, Freya West and photographer, Stephanie of La Photographie Nashville (another photographer genius I've met recently). There are such vibrant people doing wonderful art in this world. Intelligent, unapologetic women who are forging their own path in this world and are pairing their dreams with their work and finding joy in the process. It's just nice to be able to sit and talk with them, and my fellow performing friends Kisa and Delinda. To be able to trade stories, inspiration and ideas always helps to recharge my batteries as a performer; and eating brunch at Ellendale's was a wonderfully grand addition to my day (if you live in Nashville and haven't had the Ellendale's brunch...YOU MUST).
In fact this, brief trip was nearly perfect in many ways:
it wasn't an expensive trip at all,
I was introduced to an INSANELY amazing place called Performance Studios where I managed to purchase a few prop items for future performances will go back numerous times with a shopping list,
I got to eat at another Nashville favorite of mine "Cinco de Mayo" in Hermitage,
I got to experience "Ugly Mug" coffeehouse in the incredible East Nashville (which I would love to live in if we were back living in Nashville);
and if I had to complain about anything I'd have to say the only things that were negative or stressful was that we were there in the middle of a cicada outbreak (which I really did not like at all). I will save that for another post though.
For anyone curious about the art form of burlesque don't waste your time on the Cher movie (it's enjoyable, but not really burlesque...sorry Charlie), I really encourage you to find a production/troupe in your area. Whether they are performing tributes to the classic artists and legends of the past, or breaking ground with the push of neo-burlesque...there are an amazing amount of brave, bawdy, talented, teasing, intelligent, indescribable, clever, classy, whipsmart, witty, entertaining and evolved performers out there carrying on a tradition of entertainment that is certainly not for everyone, but if you're willing to be dared to step outside your comfort zone - you might find something that you like!
Have you really met me? One look at the video above should give you a small idea of who I am, personality-wise. I have labeled myself a "plate spinner" since I was 15 years old. While I don't do the amazing stunts that Erich Brenn (dude in video above), does...I have been as adept a life juggler as anyone I've ever known.
What does it all mean? Well, I'm an over-doer. I get criticized by people from time to time that I take on too much and while I may agree sometimes, you have to understand why I do it. Let's start back when I was 15. I was in band (rifle twirler), school, part-time job, boyfriend, in drama club, started sending my own Christmas cards with calligraphy addressing, Sunday School teacher, home exercise club organizer (ask some of my friends from high school - they'll remember the basement Sweatin' to the Oldies sessions); and I'm probably leaving something out. Was I crazy then? Absolutely, but it's all a part of who I am.
I am a GO GO GO girl. I enjoy being busy because it makes me feel alive and engaged. Plus my passions are varied yet share a thread of the same energy so dabbling and doing makes me feel like the true quintuple-threat (LOL), that I aim to be. In fact, lifestyle plate spinning has been an art I have worked at for over 20 years now. Goodness time flies. So when I tell people that I'm currently:
assisting at a dance studio,
teaching dance 5 x a week and running my own registered dance concept classes,
acting as creative director of a dance troupe that performs within the community at least once a month,
moonlighting as a performance artist with another troupe,
producing and starting up my own "variety show" night at a local club in town once a month,
selling products through my online businesses (2),
working a 9 to 5 job in a well-adorned cubicle,
being a wife and a mother to 3 fur-children,
while managing 5 websites and blogging;
I'm asked all the time how I do it. To be honest, I don't know...I mean really, it's just something I do and have done forever that it's a part of my blueprint. It's hard to explain something that seems like overload to some, but breath to me. While I'm not perfect at all of the above, it's helped me learn that perfection (which I used to value and expect from myself), is really not attainable. Working hard and doing your best is and that is what I aim for these days.
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not "running away" from anything by loading up my life, I'm actually living my dreams. If I could live my artistic dreams and pay my bills - I would; but until that day, I still need to keep my full-time job. I am always amazed by marvelous women who manage life, home, business and children and I never ask them if they're running from something. I suppose I don't understand why anyone should have to explain their desire to want a little of everything that life has to offer? Mind you, the Jim values slower times and sometimes struggles to understand how I "work", but I thank my stars above that he puts up with all my crazy dreams and supports them (reluctantly at times, but is always there for me and I love him dearly for that).
So, I know you want to know: do I crash ever? Yes. I did back then and I do now at times. However my crashes now are more therapeutically scheduled for myself. There are days, weeks or times in my life where I go "off the grid" (not really), from time to time and become more insular. I do it to recharge and re-evaluate. I'm heading into the summer where some of the above will take focus, but I have well intentioned down-time scheduled. I suppose I'm blogging this now, because I've just applied to add one more thing to my artistic life that would be a natural addition and flow to my troupe involvements and the production of my variety nights.
Am I crazy? Probably...but I only get one go at this life so I wanna indulge. I know in my heart that what needs and deserves more focus will present itself and some of my activities may lessen at times...but aw hell, I'm going to try to keep those plates spinnin'.
So...I have decided that I'm paying VZW entirely too much money each month for minimal service so I made the decision after careful consideration to switch to Virgin Mobile and go back to the ANDROID lifestyle. I've been without a smartphone for over a month and realized that I'm way to "mobile" for my own good and need to stay plugged in. God, remember the time when we didn't have to be hyper-connected? Sigh.
Tonight, I took the contract-less route and found out that ending my contract early with Verizon would cost me a whopping $300.00 (seriously). While I love their service/connection I am through paying over $200.00 for the phone services.
After a few starting glitches and sadly less options (I'm a ringback tone dork-girl); I'm now reconnected ANDROID style. While I'd love to have one of the new white iPhones; I can't beat $25.00 for 300 minutes and unlimited texting and data. Yeah. It was time.
I admit, I'm a consumer of popular culture. Perhaps that's why artist divine, Rob St. Clair's work fills me with lots of comfort and happiness (I'm a proud owner of one of his pieces - an insanely brilliant Ziggy Stardust). I love however the slightly-off popular culture. Does that make sense? I mean I love things that are mutually loved, but tend to be loved by the same "strata" of people. I'm a geeky, gadgety, silly woman so I tend to like things that hit those sweet spots. I suppose that's why the only Late Night show host I watch is Jimmy Fallon. I know a lot of people LOVE him and a lot of people HATE him, but he's kinda like the kinda person I'd just like to hang out with. In a lot of ways, his show is the best of all the silly ideas that I would have if I put on my own late night talk show. So, when he announced almost 6 weeks or more ago that Ben & Jerry had partnered with him to bring out a "LNJF" signature flavor, I was already hooked. I've been on a mission for weeks trying to locate the mixture of Fair Trade Certified vanilla ice cream, fudge covered potato chip clusters & a salty caramel swirl. OMG. Me want.
Finding this in Knoxville was like looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. In fact, I thought perhaps it was a myth. Until today! My friend Tere, who loves me enough to remember my maddening search for the succulent sweetness, sent me a text to let me know she had a "Late Night Snack" sighting! I quickly called my husband as it was at a Kroger near his workplace. He arrived at home with a pint of the desired deliciousness just ready for me to dig in.
So, I got home after working out (and thankfully pre-burning 743 calories), I sat down to watch a movie with my succulent score. I had taped an older Albert Brooks film called, REAL LIFE after hearing about it on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. It's a movie that, filmed in 1979, was seriously ahead of its time. It's the story of the making of a "reality tv-show/movie", and while elements of it are dated...it's dead on. It's brilliant much like another of my favorite Brooks movies, Defending Your Life. It makes you realize how far down the hole into exposure we've pushed people (as I snicker writing this and exposing elements of my life to you). However, if you want a good look back at a current trend, this is a great find.
Seriously - rent it on Netflix or find it on-demand...here's the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KtAzt9LGsI
I dug into my pop-culture food selection and watched a film that pre-skewered our current pop-culture fascination with people's so-called "real" lives. I will say, I really really like the ice cream - especially when some of the kettle chips retain their crunchiness. Delish! I'm a sucker and I'm okay with it (mostly).
Sunday was filled with thematic elements of the above two words for me.
I was blessed to be invited to share the post-nuptial brunch of two dear friends J & D who returned from a whirlwind trip with family on a mega-bus to Washington, DC to be married! Why didn't they get married here in Tennessee? Because we still don't recognize their marriage here. Yes, they are two men...two wonderful, gorgeous, smart, funny, fabulous, phenomenal, stylish, handsome and endearingly sweet men whom I have grown to love since I met them last fall. I loved hearing the story of their trip, seeing the pictures of their wedding and the smiles on their faces. My favorite pictures were the of their hugs and holding...such love in their eyes and in the embraces. Dedication and love. Regardless of gender, love is LOVE. I truly believe that anyone willing to dedicate their lives to one another and legally agree to put up with each other's BS for better or worse, should be allowed the right to make that legal. One day, they wrote on their Facebook page, they hope to stand in the state where they live and legally be able to refer to each others as married. Enduring...love...
After brunch, we went to assist at an aid/refreshment station for the Rev-3 Triathlon held here in Knoxville. I admire the endurance of these people who swim, bike and run through a grueling race because they really want to do it. They do it for various reasons, because they love the challenge, they live for pushing their bodies farther and faster. I'm always surprised at how gracious the runners are and how appreciative they are that we non-athletes volunteer to show up and help them along their way. Whatever we're doing: handing out a cup of water, Gatorade, a pack of GU energy gel, a banana half, grape bunch, pretzel stick or salt tablet to one of these athletes reminds me that we all need the encouragement and help to endure whatever race we're running. Whether it's our attempts to break old cycles of behavior that haven't served us well, our attempts to lose weight or to keep going our journey to love ourselves...we all need someone to give us a hand and tell us that we're doing our best and that we should keep going because we're "doing great!" Not perfect...but we're enduring.
Hopefully we can all do that...love and endure. Aiming to not only love one another, but work to give one another the extra push of help, encouragement or understanding along our journey. I hope that if J & D ever need some of that "nourishment" along their way that they know that the Jim and I are here to cheer them along. In a world where so many people are abandoning their hopes I truly believe that their love will go the distance.
Tonight, my dance troupe and I were able to share our love for movement with the insanely good and tough, Hard Knox Roller Girls tonight and let me tell you, it was UBER fun!
We are women of all sizes and ages who believe that dance should be shared by anyone who wants to dance...and our philosophy seems to mirror that of the HKRGs (their medium of art is ROLLER DERBY of course). We were met by a very generous crowd of cheering fans and it made us feel like rock stars. The roller girls are ROCK STARS though, and work hard for their fans. I loved the tough strength of the girls who rock the flat track and find it glamorous and empowering all at the same time. The girls really do get roughed up too but they keep on movin and working hard for their team. I actually can't wait to go back to see another bout soon, since we had to leave early because of some of life's hard knocks that I had to deal with tonight.
You see, my father is in town for a visit and I was excited for him to get to see my dance troupe perform since I've worked so hard and am so proud of my fellow dancers. I don't know why I always have a silly expectation that one day I'll get a compliment from my father, one day I'll actually hear a word of encouragement or praise. So I don't know why I am disappointed every time I do something I'm proud of and never a word is spoke from him to tell me that what I did was even worthwhile. I should have learned, a long time ago when my Mother had to deal with his criticism and critiques, that the only praise that would ever be uttered, would be in his direction. So, I'm left with nothing...yet again.
But am I? No, I'm left with everything.
A bevy of wonderful women I call my friends and fellow muses - who dance with me and make me feel alive and vibrant. I'm left with a husband who loves me and tolerates my nonsense and edits my songs for performance. I'm left with the knowledge that I work hard and when I perform I try to give my audience my everything. So, in the hard knocks of learning to live with a parent who will never validate you - somehow I'm learning to validate myself and in the end my opinion of me matters most.
It's sadly been a while since the Jim and I went to see a film in the theatre. I suppose there's been nothing compelling enough for us to spend money on seeing right now. However, while watching HDNet with my father, they ran a series of trailers for coming films.
One stuck out to me as being something I must see.
For anyone who knows me well, I'm a hard core existentialist and this appears at first blush to fit that bill very snugly. I've read there are a few twists and turns and I am going to do my very best to not spoil it for myself.
It's nice to feel motivated to want to go the theatre. In fact, I've seen at least 4 trailers so far on this channel that have made be wanna really indulge in some good SUMMER film fare.
So thanks. Looking forward to the summer cinema. What are you looking forward to this summer?
Tonight, I finally took a break from all the house cleaning and pulled my sad-sack self together for a night out with the husband to TEMPLE. In Knoxville, there is a weekly alternative club night called TEMPLE and it's a place where there is plenty of good people watching, some diverse music and some dancing. We actually went to TEMPLE a few weeks ago because I'm friends with one of the people who hosts/runs the weekly club night and I had been invited numerous times. I'm a sucker for a good 80s night and with it being an alternative club, I was pretty sure that a lot of the music they'd play that night was my favorite 80s-fare of new wave/dark wave hits.
Surprisingly, Jim and I had a great night. I was nursing a super bad knee injury (that I'm still recovering from), but even though I couldn't dance, I rocked the booth chair dance. We laughed, we talked over the loud and lovely music and we united on our love of 80s classics. Tonight, the lovely ladies of Salome' Cabaret (Knoxville's premier Burlesque Troupe), were taking over the dj-ing duties for the night so it was a good excuse for a second evening.
I think Jim and I are mostly impressed that this goth/alternative scene is still nicely active here in Knoxville. While the crowd wasn't huge tonight, it was a dedicated bunch. Most importantly, it's nice to know there's a place to go and dance where you don't have to be overly focused on trite dance music. So, if you're into or interested in the alternative to lame night-clubs where DJs think they're GODS and want you to dance to their versions of todays hits - try a night at TEMPLE. You just might like it.
Okay, so if you've been following our old blog over at http://theretromoderns.wordpress.com/, you know that we're fans of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Hell, we even have the drum set to prove it. Well, over the past year or so, Jimmy and the Late Night crew have managed to generate parodies of television shows that we would never watch in real life.
Jim and I have found a new/old home to blog again and it's back where we first began on Blogger! Wordpress had become very complicated and after the umpteenth time of tying to find a template that looked good and reflected us...I decided to find another solution.
So here we are. Right back where we began!
Look forward to rambling on the regular. We've missed ya'.
