Hard Knox and Hard Knocks

Tonight, my dance troupe and I were able to share our love for movement with the insanely good and tough, Hard Knox Roller Girls tonight and let me tell you, it was UBER fun!

We are women of all sizes and ages who believe that dance should be shared by anyone who wants to dance...and our philosophy seems to mirror that of the HKRGs (their medium of art is ROLLER DERBY of course).  We were met by a very generous crowd of cheering fans and it made us feel like rock stars.  The roller girls are ROCK STARS though, and work hard for their fans. I loved the tough strength of the girls who rock the flat track and find it glamorous and empowering all at the same time.  The girls really do get roughed up too but they keep on movin and working hard for their team.  I actually can't wait to go back to see another bout soon, since we had to leave early because of some of life's hard knocks that I had to deal with tonight.

You see, my father is in town for a visit and I was excited for him to get to see my dance troupe perform since I've worked so hard and am so proud of my fellow dancers.  I don't know why I always have a silly expectation that one day I'll get a compliment from my father, one day I'll actually hear a word of encouragement or praise.  So I don't know why I am disappointed every time I do something I'm proud of and never a word is spoke from him to tell me that what I did was even worthwhile.  I should have learned, a long time ago when my Mother had to deal with his criticism and critiques, that the only praise that would ever be uttered, would be in his direction.  So, I'm left with nothing...yet again.

But am I?  No, I'm left with everything.

A bevy of wonderful women I call my friends and fellow muses - who dance with me and make me feel alive and vibrant.  I'm left with a husband who loves me and tolerates my nonsense and edits my songs for performance.  I'm left with the knowledge that I work hard and when I perform I try to give my audience my everything.  So, in the hard knocks of learning to live with a parent who will never validate you - somehow I'm learning to validate myself and in the end my opinion of me matters most.